All The Things I Love Part 2

When My Love For Music Started

For most people, music is a way to escape and I’m no different. My father loved showing off his music collection, filling the house with sound after work when he played his favorite CDs. I absorbed that passion of his and made it my own.

When things got hard growing up, I turned to music. Outside of reading, nothing else gave me the kind of relief it did. It offered a break from reality—a place to go when everything else felt too heavy or harsh. It was a soft place to land when the world wasn’t.

It made my childhood bearable, which says a lot, considering how often I didn’t want to be alive. which was a that feeling followed me into my teens and lingered into adulthood. But music was also always there , something constant when everything else felt like it was falling apart.

That’s where my love for music began: in the middle of the chaos that was my childhood.

Why I love Music

Because it was an emotional regulator for a good portion of my life

I love music because it lets me feel what I otherwise can’t. As a young woman, especially during middle and high school, my depression ran so deep that I was either completely numb or drowning in dread. I remember wondering why I couldn’t feel joy or sadness, why I’d stare at the wall for hours, why I felt nothing at funerals, or why the emotions I did show never seemed to match the situation.

Music, however, gave me a way to let those feelings out. Sometimes it got oddly intentional, like I’d choose what to feel. I’d think, “Today, I’m going to feel sad,” then put on my sad playlist, lay in bed, and finally cry.

Other times, I’d play metal and scream at the top of my lungs to release the anger I felt at the world and my situation.

Music does that for a lot of people, I think. But for me, it was survival. It helped regulate the emotions I couldn’t feel or couldn’t handle, especially when it felt like my world was ending.

Because it brings me joy

One of my favorite things to do is discover new songs to add to my collections. I can’t explain it any other way than: I like what I like. My only requirement is that it moves me, whether through the lyrics, the composition, or the notes. I have songs whose lyrics might leave much to be desired, but the composition is masterful and vice versa. I have songs in my playlists that are perfect, and others that I love for their imperfections.

I’m very picky with my music, but I also listen to a wide variety, from rock to pop to Afrobeat to Haitian and K-pop. So, to repeat myself: I just like what I like. And when I find something I like, I replay the hell out of it. And when the song doesn’t get old even after all that, then it’s there to stay. That’s how I feel about all 1,200-plus songs on my Liked Songs playlist on Spotify, a playlist I’ve been adding to since January of 2015.

Because it allowed me to have an open mind

Music has exposed me to so many different cultures. It helped curb the ignorance I grew up around and shaped me into someone who welcomes friends and partners from all walks of life. I’ve learned things I probably wouldn’t have otherwise—about sound, language, and other people’s experiences.

Some artists are masters of lyricism, others of instrumentals or composition—and I love pulling all of that into one place to enjoy their work. It’s honestly heavenly. Listening to a masterpiece feels like I’m absorbing the emotion they poured into it. Like eating a really good meal every time I press play.

Because it inspires me to create

One thing I’ve struggled with a lot is figuring out what I should do as a profession. I want to be an artist, but I still went to business school because the idealistic and realistic parts of my mind are constantly at war. I recently graduated, and those four years of college were miserable, especially the last two. That’s when I rediscovered my love for creating art. All I wanted to do was draw , but instead, I had accounting to learn. My soul ached to create, and it physically hurt doing something I wasn’t passionate about.

When I listen to music and see artists who’ve built a life doing what they love seeing the joy on their faces when they perform, it reminds me that I can do it too. It’s going to take work, but what in life doesn’t?

I’ve been unemployed since graduating five months ago, and yeah, being broke sucks. But I know I’d also be miserable at a job I hate. So, I figure I might as well pursue what I love. I don’t get a second life to try again. I’m choosing the path that doesn’t make me miserable even if it’s hard as fuck.

That said, I haven’t lost the ability to be realistic. I’m still learning, still applying to jobs, and doing what I need to survive, but in the end, what I truly want is to build a life around art.

Because I just love it

This one’s pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll explain anyway. I watched Sinners a few days ago, and while the film itself was a masterpiece, it was the music that truly stood out to me. It felt so essential to the story that I got goosebumps in the theater, the soundtrack elevating the entire experience.

It’s moments like that, when music becomes so integral to something bigger, that remind me of why I love music in the first place. I love it for what it is, not just for the way it impacts me. Both matter, of course, but at the heart of it all, I love music simply because it exists in its own right, without needing to do anything for me.

To end this chapter, I want to share the songs that are in my main playlist:

Favorite Recently Added Songs

Guava – Naika

I’m Still Here – Colde

Badflower – Ghost (Acoustic)

Ken Doll – Duckworth, Tanerelle

Phobia – Nothing But Thieves

Favorite Longtime Added Songs

Obedear – Purity Ring

Hospital For Souls – Bring Me The Horizon

Don’t Look Back – Miguel

There I Said It – Adam Lambert

Back – Infinite

Songs I Cry To

Breathe Me – Sia

Alone Again (Naturally) – Gilbert O’Sullivan

(Cried to this during a beautiful snowy morning a few years back)

My Favorite Artists

Bring Me The Horizon

Sevdaliza

Pierce The Veil

Marina

T.A.T.U.

Tamino